5/12/20244 min read

There is no way of knowing.

In the beginning of my Human design journey, I embraced Solar Plexus as my authority. Soon enough I realized something is missing, there is no way I would ever gain clarity before making a decision in a way it was explained to me. Hd loves what's convenient so with my questions I often got answers like "you only needs a certain amount of clarity, not full clarity". Huh? What a way of saying nothing at all and looking for excuses why something obviously didn't work. So I started ignoring the solar plexus.

I didn't need it. I live on a mountain, very remotely, in a family of four projectors. There were really no energizing formal invitations coming this way anyways.

Living this way gives you a lot of free time. A lot of empty space in which you can notice things that you don't necessarily notice when you are overwhelmed with various obligations that come with living in the middle of the buzz, dealing with expectations, deadlines, rules and regulations.

This lifestyle really helped me notice those pulses of individual insights and helped me to relax into my rightness, just going with the flow, living life in tune with nature and it's cycles as much as possible.

One thing I noticed is that I have naturally always acted out of my Inner vision department of planning.

My entire life up until 4 years ago, I was surrounded by defined sacrals and left oriented strategists, who never allowed me to relax into my flow. If you'd let me be for a while, I'd naturally zone out of the real world and start flowing, but soon enough they'd notice that and pull me back to the world of stress, worry, anxiety, planning, meeting expectations and deadlines. They were stressed about me in the ways I never understood. They were stressed if I was relaxed.

Raising two projector children in a 100% projector family really gives me a clear picture of what sacral center does to us non sacrals. My children are children of low energy, and that's very obvious to everyone. They don't do playgrounds for longer than 30min and they are exhausted afterwards.

I was never exhausted. I played outside, I trained tennis for 10 years, I exercised, I participated in everything and somehow I always had energy. But what I do remember is the feelings I would get after the training. When other kids would say how adrenalized and energised they felt after a session, I could never relate. I had to walk home for about 2km alongside the main road in horrible Mediterranean heat and I remember praying that someone who knows me would drive by and pick me up, which happened pretty often.

My kids don't like sports. They don't care for active play, they love drawing, reading and craftwork. And I don't force them to change anything about that.

Back to inner vision...

This theory may be controversial and I don't claim it needs to work for you. It is something that I found out to be my truth. And I don't believe I would have ever been able to find that out if I was living a normal standard human life. A life that consisted of others who don't allow me to live MY life my way.

Inner vision is delayed vision. And what this means is that there is no seeing possible of any future outcomes from this moment right now. I can't ever wait for clarity before doing something, because there is no such thing. Clarity comes delayed. Inner vision is the door opener of the receptive/sensing processes, the right side. And as such it's mental. Mental rightness comes with a lot of contemplating and late realizations. All I can do from here and now is look back. I can't see the future like the strategic side. So the only appropriate way for me to make a decision is just to make it.

Inner vision is not only visual, but also deeply oral. It's about translating the visual into the oral for the purpose of gaining clarity.

For minor things in life I often get to a decision by simply talking about it. My memory works this way as well. If i want to remember something i read, or my grocery list, I just need to speak it out loud to someone, and than it sticks.

Making decisions about "big" things on life, like for example accepting a job works very different. I can't know, until I have experienced it. Looking back from here, I recognize this pattern pretty clearly. I accept a job, I give it a try and a week or so later I leave if it doesn't seem right. I will never know something in advance.

I try and see. If it's not in flow, I have no problem leaving it, be it a relationship, a job, a place of residence. I leave easily.

So, no. I will never gain clarity on what to do if I sleep on it or wait for an answer to magically pop up before I do it. I need to be able to talk about what I experienced. The decision needs to be a part of my past in order for me to be able to look back at it from the present moment and sense whether my movement was correct or not. If not, I just go back to the drawing board, I have one extra experience on the pile and I can start of fresh once again.